Category Archives: Parents Discussion

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Hard Questions

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In this rubric of Discussions we will be posting questions from parents,

some of current students, others from parents of students who graduated long time ago and already dealing with similar issues with their own children. All questions are made anonymous, try your best not to guess who asked them:)
Please, feel free to post your comments, advises and suggestions. You can also send us your own questions, we promise to change names and keep your confidentiality!

Q.

Hi, Anna,
In the past few months, while my son’s desire to play piano has remained high, his focus on practicing well has diminished (even when he’s practicing the required number of hours).   Maybe it’s due to age and other interests gaining his attention.  Despite trying to provide more structure (or even less structure), he has lost motivation to practice with focus.  He’s even started to be dishonest about how much he’s actually practiced.
When I speak to him about this, he says he wants to play to the level/expectation of your teachings, but his actions are not revealing this.  Have you experienced this before?  While I don’t want to give up on what he says he wants, I also don’t want to waste your time (and my money) if he’s not going to follow through appropriately. And, I don’t want him to feel pressure of not progressing, particularly in a studio like yours.  Any thoughts?

A.

Hi, Jennifer,
This is very common, it’s the age, your son is reaching the “terrible teens”. The best way I know is a very hard way, I can’t say I accomplished it fully when my own son was growing up. First of all, it’s important to adjust to your son’s process of gradually leaving his childhood and in the next few years becoming his own man. Which means he will be less and less receptive to basic rules and statements like “do because you must”; “be truthful because it’s right”, and so on. You already taught him these basics, now he is

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Alumni, Alumni Performances, Blog, Current Students, Current Students Performances, Hunter Mill Music Studio, Parents Discussion, Past performances, Students Performance Videos

A fantastic glitch in performance

Video

Two students of Hunter Mill Music Studio on stage!

Selvina Kong, piano

Fedor Ouspensky, conductor

South Lakes High School Orchestra

Please, note at 3:20 a “terrible” glitch! the pianist had a complete black-out memory slip, so devastating that she seemingly lost her place altogether. This is a very common situation for inexperienced (and very experienced!) performers. But keep watching, and pay attention to how much more relaxed and confident she gets after she finally makes a recovery from the event! and how poised and proud she is afterwards receiving the greeting from the audience. And how supportive and enthusiastic are the applause! 

Sure, when you go to a concert presented by professional artists, rarely something of this magnitude happens, but when it does… the audience actually LOVES it even better! Why? Because it makes the artists people, more human, not so much like remote idols covered in the glitter of glory.  Especially if the artist is actually a truly artistic and expressive musician:)

Below watch the recording from the same concert, this time edited. How do you think we get all those absolutely note-perfect recordings on labels? Hmmmmm….

Blog, Hunter Mill Music Studio, Parents Discussion

My child is ready to start lessons…or is she? (Topic 2, Part 1. What is involved?)

There are many people involved in your child’s music study! It isn’t only about her, there are you, parents, her siblings, and of course her future teacher.

Let’s start with some tips of how you can determine if your child is ready NOW, or if she needs some additional time and preparation. And if giving her additional time to mature turns out to be a good idea, then what you can do to make that time fruitful in preparation for her future music study.

There are some signs of readiness which you can see yourself without going for a consultation with professional musician:

  • Is she interested? If she said so, very good, but it isn’t enough. Does she stop playing a game or doing a puzzle when you turn on music? Does she react to the mood of what she hears? Does she ask questions about it? Do her the questions show emotional

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Blog, Parents Discussion

My child is ready to start lessons…or is she? (Topic 1, Part 4. What is involved?)

Prepare to change and adjust. It’s very important to keep up with your child’s progress and not let him stagnate.

You are looking at a starting just the way most people do: take piano lessons once per week for 30 minutes.  You think you can make a commitment to the driving, keeping up with assignments, and help him at home. Initial requirements are not so overwhelming, you need to establish daily routine of practicing for about 30-45 minutes. The total time can be split into two sessions of 15-25 minutes each, not too bad. It’s very important to keep positive attitude, at the same time be very firm that no day goes without practicing. You teacher will guide you through creative approaches

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Michelle’s Unnerving Practice and result

Video

Michelle’s Unnerving  practice on the morning of her winning concerto competition performance

(Story by her dedicated and nervous mom, Sharon Yip) …..

Michelle had been practicing very hard on playing the Shostakovich Piano Concerto, did a pretty good job in recording (see the video posted), and was excited to go to the concerto competition. The day before the competition, she was feeling very sick, coughing and having fever. The doctor diagnosed her with bronchitis, and put her on antibiotics. “Oh no”, she said, “why do I get sick at the worst time?” We were all disappointed and didn’t know what to do. The next morning, she was feeling better after taking the medicines. After consulting Anna, we decided to let her try playing at the competition.
Michelle had been practicing very hard on playing the Shostakovich Piano Concerto, did a pretty good job in recording (see her video posted), and was excited to go to the concerto competition. The day before the competition, she was feeling very sick, coughing and having fever. The doctor diagnosed her with bronchitis, and put her on antibiotics. “Oh no”, she said, “why do I get sick at the worst time?” We were all disappointed and didn’t know what to do. The next morning, she was feeling better after taking the medicines. After consulting Anna, we decided to let her try playing at the competition. So……

She did a rehearsal at home.

As you can see from the video, she made bunch of mistakes, sounded messy in many places. She was embarrassed and frustrated (take a look at her facial expression when making big mistakes, and at the end …) She said:

“this is terrible! I’m not going to win anything!”

I reminded her about what her teacher always told her –

try your best, enjoy the playing, and don’t worry about the result.

She finally decided to go. The result? She followed her teacher’s advice, tried her best, and won the first place 🙂

Blog, Parents Discussion

My child is ready to start lessons…or is she? (Topic 1, Part 6. What is involved?)

In this post we continue looking through some factors which are involved in the initial decision to start music lessons. This post is about obvious and hidden costs of music lessons. 

The obvious costs are the teacher’s fees, books and other materials, travel costs, and the cost of obtaining and maintaining an instrument. Teachers’ fees fluctuate and can be checked on line or by calling teachers and music schools around for the most up-to-date information. Books and other printed materials can be estimated at around $100-$250 per year depending on the age of student.

Keep in mind that initial purchase cost of a piano is higher than a violin, or cello, or flute. A decent upright piano will cost you between about $3,000 for used one in good condition to $12,000 for a higher end brand new one.

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Blog, Parents Discussion

My child is ready to start lessons…or is she? (Topic 1, Part 5. What is involved?)

In this post we continue looking through some factors which are involved in the initial decision to start music lessons

  • Are we as a family ready to make room for it? Again, this is a bit more involved than what you may see from a first quick look.

Of course, piano is the bulkiest choice and requires most adjustment. But in considering space for your child music study there are other things as well to keep in mind.  Where she practices needs to be a place which simultaniously gives her privacy and audience. Open space in a two-story family room may be intimidating because the entire household will hear her every mistake and her every stuggle.

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My child is ready to start lessons…or is she? (Topic 1, Part 3. What is involved?)

In this post we continue looking through some factors which are involved in the initial decision to start music lessons

  • Do we as a family have money for it? it isn’t as simple if you consider the 10-12 years span! No matter how you go about budgeting this project, it will in the end cost your family many 1,000’s of dollars.

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My child is ready to start lessons…or is she? (Topic 1, Part 2. What is involved?)

Let’s first consider factors, because those are the easy part (believe it or not, a lot of parents ONLY at those), then later we will move to considering people:

  • Do we as a family have time for it? An adult must commit to drive a child to lessons at regular times week after week, every week. Some teachers prefer to work with kids one-on-one, then you have your 30 minutes to check your emails or get some work done while waiting outside. Other teachers have no preference as to who brings kids to lessons, then you can have a babysitter build it into her schedule.

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Blog, Parents Discussion

My child is ready to start lessons…or is she? (Topic 1, Part 1. What is involved?)

What is involved? In determining whether it’s time to start lessons now or wait a bit more parents need to consider many factors and also many people!

This topic will also have several posts, so keep scrolling to find what interests you most

Where to start? With understanding and accepting that learning a musical instrument is a project which will span at least 10-12 years. Start with accepting the fact that at this point no one will honestly be able to tell you if your child has anymore potencial than average. You will not know until at least mid-way through if music will fall for your child into a category of casual interest, or a hobby, or a passion. And that is about 5-6 years, 100’s of hours, and 1,000’s of dollars from now!  

Continue reading My child is ready to start lessons…or is she? (Topic 1, Part 1. What is involved?) →